What to wear at your wedding
What you wear to your wedding? Completely up to you. Yours and your partner’s choice, full stop. But that doesn’t make the decision easy. I say this as someone who spent a lot of time overthinking it. (Classic me.) And while I wouldn’t change a thing, I wanted to share how we got there in case you’re staring down your own “what do I wear?” rabbit hole.
Let’s start at the end: I wore a gray cotton-linen suit from J.Crew. A white oxford cloth button-down (also J.Crew), Allen Edmonds Fifth Avenue Oxfords, a custom western belt and vintage buckle, and a Seiko SRPE51 (aka the DressKX). The location? An Airstream campground in Taos. That vibe—a bit quirky, a bit rustic, a lot outdoorsy—definitely shaped the choice.
Oddly enough, the whole outfit started with the watch. I don’t recommend that, by the way. Usually accessories come later. But I’m a watch nerd, and this was the perfect excuse to indulge. I’d been wearing my grandfather’s old quartz Timex for years, but I wanted something new. Something a little more formal. Something that could, maybe, become an heirloom. Enter the Seiko. It checked all the right boxes, though I immediately swapped the stock NATO strap for a speckled, neppy two-piece strap that felt more “wedding” and less “weekend hike.”
After that, my partner and I talked colors and formality. We both wanted to keep it informal. After all, we were basically getting married in a trailer park (albeit a very charming one). So: no tie. Light gray suit. Something breathable and relaxed, but still polished. She gave me full license to pick my own outfit—as long as I showed her before committing. (Smart. Make sure you do this.)
I immediately knew I shirt with a button-down collar. It gives just enough structure to an open-neck look, and I fell deep (maybe too deep) into the OCBD rabbit hole. As someone shaped by /r/MFA, it was almost a rite of passage. I landed on J.Crew again—they have a long legacy with OCBDs and hit the sweet spot between quality and cost. It’s now the most expensive dress shirt I own—and the best fitting. I’ve somehow worn it to almost every formal event since (weddings, conferences, you name it) without staining it once. That feels like a minor miracle since all my other white shirts are stain magnets.
The shoes? Easy. I’ve always been partial to brown leather. Black leather just fries my brain for some reason. I do have a pair of black leather shoes but they only are worn to funerals. I bought my Allen Edmonds (in roughly this color) when I started my career as a psychologist, and they’ve been with me ever since—11 years and two resoles later. I also own a pair of Ft. Worth Sabahs—picked up at a Seattle pop-up—but when it came down to it, the AE’s felt right. Familiar. Significant. I literally made the decision an hour before the ceremony, standing in front of a mirror. When you know, you know. Even if it is a bit last minute.
The suit, though, was a journey. I flirted with the idea of going custom with Indochino but didn’t love their option. Spier & Mackay has been my go-to for the best value to cost ratio in suiting (my navy suit is from them and it’s perfect). But the timing and sizing didn’t line up and I didn’t want to be rushed. After a lot of searching, I found it: an Irish cotton-linen Ludlow from J.Crew. Unstructured. Just enough slouch. I ordered a few sizes, figured out the fit, and made a quick tailoring trip to hem the pants. My tailor didn’t even touch the jacket—said it was already spot on.
One tip? Don’t wait until the day of to cut the tacking stitches on your jacket pockets. Luckily, my best man had the eyes of a hawk and saved me from walking down the aisle with those little threads still intact. Save a little time to steam the suit, if necessary, and don’t rely on remembering to cut the tacking stitches last minute.
One of the most fun details? The groomsmen and “beer boys” (yes, just like this ad). I wanted to give them something meaningful and lasting, so I tracked down eight vintage western belt buckles—turquoise, wood inlays, even mountain scenes. Then I hunted for handmade belts on Etsy to go with them. The belts ended up the perfect brown to split the difference between the color of the Allen Edmonds and the Sabahs. It tied everything together.
Looking back, I sometimes think about what a black tie look might’ve been like. There's something undeniably cool about it. But I couldn’t justify asking my crew to go formal in the New Mexico sun. And that was the right call. We were outdoors, we were relaxed, and the weather helped guide the whole mood. I’ve worn everything from that day multiple times since—including the suit—and every time, it brings me right back.
So, if you’re planning your own wedding outfit, here’s my takeaway: spend money where it matters, reuse what you love, and don’t be afraid to splurge a little. You’ll remember this outfit forever. And maybe, just maybe, it becomes something you pass on—memories stitched into every seam.